I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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