You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize