I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
