I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
