the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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