I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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