no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize