Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
