My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize