I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
