Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
