How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
