Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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