Are we in a gay sports bar?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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