carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
