So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
