girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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