Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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