I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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