you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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