So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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