She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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