real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
