Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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