why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You made out with two different species that night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize