Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
