so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
