nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
