I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
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