heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize