There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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