Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
