i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
