Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
only if we run a train.
done.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
