I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
