I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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