She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
