pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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