South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
