I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize