I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
