dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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