"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
