Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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