We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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