You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
