I accidentally had phone sex last night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
