piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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