Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
