We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
