Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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