He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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