After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
