just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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