Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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