Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We have so much sex to catch up on
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize