Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
try to milk me bitch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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