i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
