I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
