in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
