I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
