i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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