I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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