I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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