He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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