I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
