he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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