We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
