I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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