I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize