"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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