Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
